“Boomer Bytes and Wi-Fi Woes”
Y’all ever try to explain modern technology to an older relative?
It’s like trying to teach a cat how to text—confused, irritated, and somehow… they still think it’s your fault.
I tried to FaceTime my Nephew last week…
FROM A LANDLINE.
He said, “Unc, you can’t FaceTime from a rotary phone!”
I said, “Well, I turned the dial, and I’m lookin’ at my face—ain’t that enough?”
Old people and artificial intelligence? Man, we think “Ai” is just some dude who works at Best Buy.
We say stuff like, “Hey son, can you tell that Ai fella to order me more oatmeal from the Amazons?”
“The Amazons?? My Nephew be like, Unc, that’s not a jungle. That’s your shopping cart.” Then he went on to say, “I just have personal distaste of Ai, it’s the latest obsession. Companies are pouring resources into it, and I feel it’s completely unnecessary. It’s just making us dumber, kids lazier, and giving tech another excuse to fire, slash, and gut established work forces”!
And don’t even get me started on smartphones.
We be tappin’ and swipin’ like we defusing a bomb.
“Grandma Jane be like, “I don’t know what happened, baby. I was tryin’ to check the weather and now I got 42 tabs open, bought a kayak, and joined a dating app for Frenchie dogs.”
But the funniest part? Now old people wanna start a podcast.
A podcast! We don’t even know how to record voicemail!
We be like “Welcome to our podcast: Real Talk with Ruthie and Earl… where every week, we try to remember why we walked into the room.”
This week, “We’re gonna teach the youth morals.”
Nephew said, “Unc, y’all arguing over who made the best potato salad in ‘78, and you spelled podcast with a K.”
We believe the news on social media is real, too.
My crazy sister, Beda Scott sent me a Facebook link talkin’ about, “Aliens bought a Popeye’s in Alabama.”
And she mad that CNN didn’t cover it!
Meanwhile, her Wi-Fi password is still “JesusTakeTheWheel123.”
Look, we know yowl love us elders. First of all, we’rey wise.
We have been through it all—wars, disco, Y2K, and COVID.
But we always say, “Back in my day…”
Nephew said, “Unc, in your day there was no AirDrop.”
Hey… if our podcast ever does pop off?
You already know the first episode’s gonna be:
“Why you kids don’t know how to clean your ears, wipe your butt good, or cook grits anymore?”
Having fun with Power of Ten