BEHELD
YOU Were There All Along:
God that is always there, it is us who now finally has seen, beheld upon you. I walked miles in shadow, my footprints tracing paths I thought were mine. Head held high, chasing purpose, building towers from dust, yet dust I was, and dust I chased. All the while, YOU were there. When I wept without reason, when laughter echoed off walls of pride, when I raised my own name in bold defiance, YOU stood beside me, silent, patient, ever-present, always Holy. But I did not see. I chose not to see. Forgive me, FATHER, for it took the breaking of my will to finally bow my knee. Like Jacob in the desert, I wrestled with angels and didn’t know it was YOU. I said, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.” (Genesis 28:16) The weight of that truth drops like thunder. I thought I was the author of my story, but my breath, even that, was borrowed from YOUR mouth. The rhythm of my heart? Sustained by YOUR mercy. The light in my eyes? Reflections of grace undeserved. How could I not see? My survival, my peace, my every second, were not random. They were sovereign. YOU were in the whisper that held back depression. In the silence that calmed the chaos. In the voice that told me to rise again, when I had no strength left. YOU carried me. Now I see, with trembling awe: “If it had not been the Lord who was on our side…” (Psalm 124:1) We would have been swallowed alive, washed away in the flood of our own destruction. Oh, what mercy, to be seen while blind, to be held while ignorant, to be loved while lost. I stand now, not in shame, but in reverent surrender. Not with pride, but with a heart undone. “You hem me in, behind and before, and YOU lay YOUR hand upon me.” (Psalm 139:5) YOU knew me, every misstep, every silence, every shout. Yet YOU stayed. So I lift up this truth: If not for YOU, my CREATOR, none of us would be. Forgive me for the time lost in blindness. But thank YOU for being the kind of FATHER who waits, with open arms. YOU were there all along. Amen