As the year wraps up, many of us find ourselves in bargain-hunting mode, scanning the shelves for a “two-for-one” deal or that gently used item that’s practically new (minus the whole “depreciation” thing). Who doesn’t love a good deal? The end of the year is like Black Friday for your emotional and existential well-being. What if we could skip ahead to the “after-market” version of the New Year—a gently used one with only a few wrinkles, but still packed with memories?
Imagine getting your hands on a year that was really good. Maybe the last year you remember being truly happy—say, 1987, when the hair was big and the music was better. But hold on! Why settle for just one year when you can get a 1961 mixed with 2002, with all the bugs worked out? Maybe toss in some 1978 and 1991 for good measure—an ideal combo platter of fun, nostalgia, and wisdom.
Now, let’s get real. Why bother with a brand-new year full of uncertainties, endless resolutions, and failed attempts at fitness when you can score a pre-loved one that’s already been tried and tested? A little 1960’s charm for the peace, a sprinkle of 1970’s disco for the fun, and a dash of 2000’s optimism—just enough to make sure you don’t lose your phone every time you leave the house.
So, this New Year’s Eve, don’t worry about waiting for the clock to strike midnight and your “new year” to begin. Instead, load up your metaphorical shopping cart with a few decades of well-loved years, and make the next round something you can enjoy without a return policy. Who needs a fresh start when you can have a gently used one that’s been perfectly preserved in time? Like the last time you saw the smile of a loved one who has now departed.